You Do Not Have To Be Good
-Discoveries about emotional healing processes
What are Emotions?
Emotions are not from the present. Feelings on the other hand, are. A feeling will arise, bring information and be complete after 3 minutes. Feelings truly do serve to navigate the now and get things handled. Emotions arise in the emotional body and are connected to a past experience where it was not ok to fully feel and express the experience. Sometimes the term ‘triggered’ is used when someone is experiencing an emotion. This means, there is a reaction to something that leads to a familiar pattern of behaviour. When slowed down, this behaviour pattern is linked to an internal series of responses. Sadly, a lot of people walk around believing that there really is no other option but to respond in this way. This flurry of sentences/phrases in the mind, physical sensations in the body and/or behaviour patterns can seem incredibly real and that there really is no other way to ‘deal’ with this kind of situation. An Emotional reaction creates familiar outcomes with no real change occurring - because the core wound is not addressed.
Commonly, an emotional reaction is based on a core wound that “there is something wrong with me”.
The term traumatised is used to lump together the physical, emotional and energetic scars of unintegrated experiences. This can range anywhere from being “stuck” in some part of life to total debilitation and overwhelm.
Have you ever tried to ‘get things done’ while seemingly working through a cloud of tension, worry, judgment, distraction? - this could indicate you are experiencing an emotional response to the current situation.
Why is this distinction so Potent?
Having this distinction offers the choice to do something different. It is a doorway to the realisation that there is actually is nothing wrong with me. Once this is embodied a whole raft of things that seemed completely impossible, seem to just “flow”. When it is clear that what you are experiencing has its roots firmly in the past, you have a key to the door.
What do you mean By “Door”
The image of a door is powerful as it uncouples the emotional reaction from the assumption that '“there really is no other way”, this creates a gap where the seed of “something different is possible” can slowly germinate. It offers the possibility of healing.
Finding and Navigating Doorways
In the last month I have been on a learning journey myself. I have been learning to hold the space for others to find their own doorways to heal emotions from the past. In other words I have been learning to hold space for Emotional Healing Processing (EHPs). This has changed me. For anything to shift for the other person. I myself have to be willing to become a space through which change can happen. This means I am fully present, without judgment or expectations, simply a consciousness witnessing another consciousness. There are two things that I surprised me about this:
1) This takes a lot of practise.
2) I do not have to be perfect, for the client to receive a lot of value.
Emotions are for Healing
At the same time as learning to hold space for EHPs, I have been going through my own emotional healing processes. What has become crystal clear in my system is that healing happens when feeling happens. Deep, loud, messy, quiet, shaky, snotty feeling. Feeling with words, sounds, and sensations. Sensations that are uncomfortable are encouraged to get bigger. Old pains in the body are held in deep curiosity, tears caught in the heart are unlocked, energetic blocks are found, the reason they were put there are discovered and anything that is not serving the flow of life through the system is removed. Healing is not a “mindfulness practise”. This is why it requires a space holder, as navigating through doorways means allowing an experience of being in the world to happen that is completely outside what is labelled as “normal”, for the person.
After
One way to aid healing of physical wounds on the skin is to remove the eschar (crust over the open wound). This encourages the germinal cells under the crust to start forming healthy new skin. An EHP is similar to removing this crust. After the process a “rawness” with life is experienced. It is normal to be moved to tears easily, have a need for gentle touch, rest, sunlight and grounding. It is the stage of getting to know the shape of yourself in the world again. The fresh skin is growing, change is underway. What was not available before suddenly becomes an option and there is a new found freedom to choose.
Healing happens, one doorway at a time, together and in connection. This, to me, is the glue that binds us to a future I whole heartedly commit to building with you.
