Women as Key To A Being Centred Culture
This starts with a story. One evening about 5 months ago, I made dinner for myself, my dad and my brother. I made it from scratch from things in the cupboard and garden. From things my sister had grown, in a garden her partner and I had helped plant, I made it from groceries my dad had chosen and bought and from bits I’d picked up from recipe books. My brother sat on the bench and told me football facts and I slowly felt the work day leaving my body as I stirred, created, chopped and grated. After we had eaten dad said “Mm thank you Millie for making this dinner”.
Interestingly, this comment slid off my feathers like water and I basically ignored it. What did land in me was my complete apathy to the comment. A slow curiosity grew in me, why do those words do nothing to me? I waited and nothing came. It wasn’t until 30mins later when he said it again that I realised, what it was. He was acknowledging my actions of making dinner, a nice meal. And for me the process was not an action at all, rather it was an act of pure creativity, love and art coming straight from a state of Being. A state that I have come to recognise as one of my most powerful feminine qualities. Tragically this is one of the most silenced ways of being in our society.
Our culture is based on what one does as valuable. The question is common: “Hello, nice to meet you, what do you DO? We live in a materialistic society, based on a dualistic world view stemming from a material science base. This means that what is measurable, tangible, able to be explained, defined and categorised is acknowledged and rewarded.
The intrinsic being-ness state is over ridden while the results and out ward show of activity is rewarded. The being-ness state is the seat of all creativity and innovation. It is potent when fully embodied, nurtured and evoked. The consequences of this state fading to the background are that mechanical actions are produced over and over and over again:
Sweat shops anyone?
plastic filled oceans for dinner?
Mass scale deforestation?
storage crisis?
dairy effluent in the rivers?
The picture is bleak. It is written, recorded, documented and spoken about widely, yet still the mess continues to grow.
The mess continues to grow because systemically and collectively we have not yet learnt to value, nurture and call forth the intrinsic value that every human has simply by being alive. The mess grows because, culturally, we are indoctrinated through schooling, advertising and policing to believe that there is nothing of value without productivity and accumulating status symbols. The mess grows because we are addicted to the sugary highs and desperate lows that come from working in a meaningless job towards obscure targets, rewarded with money in the bank then buying items to fill an emptiness.
It is very clear to me that it is time to change tact. It is time to shift our collective gaze from the productive capacity of a human to the state of who each person is, just because they are. This is a huge shift and must happen privately for each person and publicly in connection with each other.
Why Women?
As a woman I have an intrinsic connection to the process of creation. I have a menstruating body, this means I have an embodied understanding of what it means to be in process. I have a deep appreciation for the ebb and flow of living. Of the birth and death cycle. My interaction with life is deeply informed by my connection to a state of being that does not need to prove its self. This is simple yet when I choose to lean ever more into that, to move with that, to let my talents, loves, passions and ideas be informed by that deep being-ness state over and over and over again, I can move mountains, I can shift an entire culture. I do it moment by moment in connection with what is, in connection with you, in deep connection to my being.
On reflecting back to the evening meal. I would like to offer an invitation to all men: It is your job to hold the space fo women to go first. I offer you the challenge to begin to evoke that which is, in women so we get it also. You do this by beginning to notice how women show up in your world that nourish you to your core - you may not have the words for it yet, but your heart and your whole world knows what I am talking about. The quiet, unsaid things that are simply taking care of, the bonds that are nurtured , the immaculate timing and uncanny co-incidences, the things that politely get done with little fuss. It is your job to start to notice this, then notice the quality behind it. This is called evoking the being-ness. It might not be perfect at first, with practise you will come to know it, you will be able to speak about it and tell legends about it. It might go something like this:
“I notice there is a rythm to my day that nurtures me - I appreciate your connection to timing”
“I notice I can feel my heart open when you listen - I appreciate your attentivness”
“I notice my world is clearer - I appreciate your magic”
“I notice a warmth in me - I appreciate you taking a stand for your truth”
Stay connected to the being-ness that just is - behind the action. Had my father said “I have a deep sense of being home, thank you for your artistry in creating that, it is the life blood of society” That would have brought chills to my skin and have landed like a meteorite in my being.
In placing the being state that each of has in the centre of our culture, suddenly the stuff fulls away, creativity blossoms and what truly aligns with the process of life will remain. This gives way for a regenerative culture. A culture that is necessary to co-create if we have any chance at leaving the generations to come a planet that is thriving both ecologically, socially, biologically and economically.
A planet for life - and it is for the women to go first.
